The key to confidence

If you’re looking for advice on how to how to make yourself attractive to men you’ve come to the wrong place- try a 1950’s guide on bagging an eligible bachelor by minding your P’s and Q’s and always having a lovely meal on the table when he returns from a hard day doing man things. If, however, you’re looking for some tips on how to feel sexy for yourself and a little more confident, then keep reading. It is the 21st Century after all and we women should know that we can achieve anything we want in life- we just need to get a little better at loving ourselves.

Make friends with your mirror

Ok, so it’s no great revelation that the more confident someone is, the sexier they will be. That’s why people who aren’t traditionally handsome or beautiful manage to light up a room when they walk into it and why we hear things like “I don’t know what it is, he’s kind of funny looking- he’s just got something about him!” Most of us know at least one person who’s not conventionally good looking but is never short of admirers, and it’s all about inner confidence. That’s great news for those of us who don’t have movie star looks (about 90% of the population!) because unlike perfectly symmetrical faces and 33 inch legs it’s something anyone can achieve. You’ve just got to believe in yourself.

Think about what YOU want

Remember singing into your hairbrush in front of the mirror as a kid? Didn’t it make you feel like Madonna, or Debbie Harry, or J-Lo (or whoever else was the pop queen or your time)? Acting like pop stars made us believe we were just like them, even if it was only for a few minutes- and we can still use the same tactics today if we need a bit of extra confidence. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful, you’re confident, that you can achieve anything you want. Do it every day for at least two minutes. Will you feel stupid? Well, to be honest, probably yes. But it doesn’t matter because the only person you’re facing is yourself, and that’s the most important person in the whole world to get on side.

Learn to love your body

Every single one of us has body issues, even the people who to the outside world look perfect. Most of us have lumps and bumps in places we’d rather they weren’t and very few of us have washboard stomachs or thigh gaps. And guess what? It doesn’t matter. Spending your life wishing you looked like the models in magazines is not only a waste of time, it’s emotionally damaging. Go back to the mirror again and look beyond the bits you don’t like and admire the bits you do- your eyes, your décolletage, your ankles- and be proud of yourself. It might not be easy at first, but if you try it every day it’ll soon get easier.

Men get insecure too!

One last thing- always remember insecurity isn’t just a woman thing. Men feel just as pressurised to look good and feel as insecure about their bodies as we do- they’re just a bit better at hiding it. If the thought of leaving the lights on brings you out in a cold sweat, keep a little perspective- chances are he won’t have an airbrush perfect body either and might be feeling just as nervous as you. Stay in the moment, embrace your lumps and bumps and look him straight in the eye- with the lights on! Being confident is the sexiest thing in the world whether you’re a size zero or a size 30. Start loving yourself and see what happens.