Girls- we’re all in this together, play nice!

It’s not easy being female. Sometimes it seems like everyone is judging us on our looks, our bodies, our behaviour and we’re constantly compared to images of airbrushed models and porn stars with plastic chests and tiny thighs. We’re hard on ourselves when we don’t live up to these unrealistic expectations in the media and online, and we shouldn’t be (they’re not real). But why are we hard on each other too?

Don’t make it personal

Open any celebrity magazine and you’ll see photos of famous women being criticised for how they look. Whether it’s Kim K’s backside, Cara’s eyebrows or Stephanie’s on and off relationships, everyone’s got something to say and it’s often less than complimentary. Obviously we’re entitled to our own opinions and passing judgement is part of what makes us human. But do we really have to make it personal? Can’t we just comment on the situation rather than calling out other women and insulting the way they look or act? Picking holes in another girl’s appearance is never ok, especially when so many of us obsess about our own. You know that feeling when you look at a photo and think you look too fat/too skinny/too ugly? Imagine if that photo was all over the internet and everyone had a bitchy comment about it. Wouldn’t you just want to curl up somewhere and die? Adding to those negative comments just perpetuates the idea that if we don’t look perfect, we’re not good enough- and that needs to stop.

Stop using negative language

It’s bad enough saying these things about celebrities- some people argue that they’re paid enough money to be able to compensate for it and negative publicity is the price of fame- but when we bring it into “real life” there’s a serious problem. Let’s make one thing clear- it is NOT ok to call anyone negative names, no matter what Eric Cartman may have you believe with terms like “horsebanging skank”. If you don’t approve of her behaviour- a) you don’t have to be friends with her b) you may not know the full story and c) it’s probably none of your business. Demeaning terms and poisonous slurs are so ingrained into our culture that they’re just part of day to day conversations, but the truth is the more we use them, the more we damage ourselves and make it ok to see women only as sexual objects. Often girls end up having sex because they feel pressured, or insecure, or like they have to do it to fit in. Sometimes they do it just because they like it, and that’s ok too. It’s not for you to judge. If you’re worried she’s making a mistake, then tell her- maybe she needs someone to talk to. Just don’t call her spiteful names.

Think before you speak

So, the next time you see another girl dressing in a way you don’t think suits her, acting in a way you don’t approve of or wearing make-up that’s the wrong shade for her complexion, just stop and think before you say anything. Think about all those times you’ve scrutinised photos of yourself or stood in front of the mirror wishing you could change the bits you don’t like. Think about all the decisions you’ve made and whether you’d do things differently if you got a second chance. Ask yourself, “Am I being fair? How would I feel if someone was saying these things about me?”. If you wouldn’t like it, then don’t do it to someone else.

Let’s just all try to be a bit nicer to each other, shall we?