Lost that loving feeling?

That first glow of love doesn’t often last forever. Over time even the most passionate couples can find themselves stuck in a rut, having sex once in a blue moon and rarely finding the time to talk to each other about anything more than household finances, work and the kids. Life certainly has a way of taking over and nobody can expect to feel that same rush of excitement after 15 years together that they felt back in the early days, but it is possible to get the sparkle back into a relationship even when things have become stagnant.

The best place to start is with remembering what made you fall in love in the first place- what did you enjoy doing together, where did you go, what did you laugh about? Taking the time to think about those key things that made sharing each other’s time and space so much fun in the early days will get you on the way to rekindling lost magic and bringing back some fun. Ok, so you may not want to go to four day festivals any more, but if live music was one of your shared passions you’ll almost certainly find a local pub with a live band or two to recreate a similar feeling. If you laughed at the same things, go to see a funny film or stand-up comedian. If your passion was fine dining, find a great restaurant and sample the finest cuisine you can afford- or recreate it together at home.
It’s easy to take your partner for granted if you’ve been together a while but if you want to keep your relationship fresh and healthy it’s important to pay attention to each other. Praise your partner when you can, give them compliments and let them know you appreciate them. Write little love notes and leave them on the fridge or in lunch boxes, spend a night camping under the stars, go for a long walk on the sea front. Being romantic and re-learning how to have fun together again doesn’t have to cost a penny, but can go a long way towards maintaining a fresh, healthy relationship.

Once you’ve worked on the emotional bits, the sensual side will come more easily. If it’s been a while, spend time touching each other and enjoying each other’s bodies in a non-sexual way- hold hands, stroke each other’s faces, share a massage, take a bath together. Over time we can all forget how it feels to be close, and simply touching each other can naturally lead to something more intimate. Just take it slow, relax and let your bodies do all the thinking. If you’re anxious or recovering from an operation (many women are terrified to have sex after a traumatic birth) use lubrication and ask your partner to take it slow- the Olympics are over now so nobody’s competing for a gold medal in the sex games.

Try something different. We live in a sexually enlightened age and things that may have once been regarded as kinky or perverted are pretty normal these days- the 50 Shades series have introduced BDSM to the masses and the sex toy industry is now a multi-Billion pound concern. Anal sex is no longer quite so much of a taboo subject as it once was either, with around a third of straight couples regularly partaking. If you’re considering anal but find the idea mildly terrifying, this article will answer a few myths and give you the confidence to give it a try.
Just remember- this is a person with whom you once enjoyed great sex. You’re still the same people as you ever were, just take the time to remember what you love about each other, have fun and let nature take its course.